Cody’s Carrd

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“Love is deep as the road is long, it moves my feet to carry on. Beats my heart when you are gone.”

Hey, I’m Cody! I’m an autistic, hyperlexic lover of most things weird, gloomy and dark. I’d love to get to know you better.(In an OCD flare-up)My Interests:

"I don’t know why I just can’t let it go; memory’s old but I just can’t let it go…"

General information:Please inform me if I cross any boundary. I will change my behavior.I have intrusive thoughts and paranoia from my OCD that can lead to rumination and distress. If I seem off, you are always free to make sure I am okay/interact in general, but please be patient.I am certified in:
-Fundamentals of Animal Science
-Equine Management and Evaluation
-Veterinary Medical ApplicationsThese certifications show that I have passed industry-aligned exams to apply my knowledge. These certifications do NOT make me eligible to give sound medical advice, and I am NOT a DVM. Please always consult a professional if you have a genuine concern for the health of your animal.Though I am autistic, I do not require nor ask for tone tags.People 14 and under please minimize interactions!I don’t judge people for their thoughts, their fears, past actions, worries, or anything else. I am a safe space to express even the most stigmatized of disorders. As long as you are willing to be helped, you deserve to be.

“And when your fairytale is through and you’re looking for someone new, you can always find me where the skies are blue."

My Friends:

Bo, I have to warn you of something tragic. You see, Duncan… he’s… he’s abusing a deer. I know, I know. It’s awful. But you can fix him, I believe in you.Officially a year. Cant believe it. You’re simply wonderful, and every conversation we have no matter how short is very entertaining, so thanks for being the least boring person ever. I’m glad our friendship began with the blessings that are Squangel Dward and mister Cralastor. Truly, works of art in their own. Thank you for being patient with me when I was at my worst, for never judging me, and for always listening to my extensive rants about the Zelda and splatoon series. I will rope you in. And that day will be glorious. It’s gonna happen.You always engage with my interests- no matter how silly it may be to hop on call just to read a book together- and I hope I can adequately return that favor by providing you the same. TALK MORE ABOUT WHAT YOU LIKE! ESPECIALLY YOUR ART!! I MUST SEE MORE! YOU’RE SO TALENTED!!You are a good person- a wonderful one, who is helping me become a better person in return. I feel like having you as my friend is a gold badge of honor and huge privilege, because your kindness and empathy makes the people around you happier than you realize. You don’t know how much I appreciate the fact that you see me, that you see my efforts to improve every day, and that you promise to be open with me and have reasonable conversation and real help as opposed to making situations dramatic or worse.You saved me when I was at my worst. You make me feel comfortable talking about mental health and sharing struggles, and you’ve never judged me for my past or my trauma, even when I think it’s silly. I know you’d fight tooth and nail to protect me from the people who hurt me, and I’ve never felt that kind of loyalty before. We’ve never even argued, but I know if we did disagree we could handle it like the best friends we are and always will be. It means the world to me. I’m lucky to have someone like you, and even if I don’t show it often, I’m grateful you’re here. Thank you, sunshine. May there be many more years to come.You’re gonna make it through college and you’re gonna do great things, and that’s a Cody guarantee. Give yourself more credit, more grace, and more freedom. Live to the fullest! Also take me with you because you have the best view ever. I see you, and you see me.

Amena! Our meeting was a funny twist of fate. I should say, all of our meetings were. And all because I decided to wear my Noah shirt to class one day.Regardless of how amusing it was, I still consider it a wonderful occurrence. I’m happy to have found you, and to watch the cat TikToks you come across every day. I promise it isn’t annoying. I’m glad you want to share things with me.I’m sorry I thought you cheated IN MY DEFENSE YOU SAID YOU WOULD COPY OFF OF ME!

Hey ho! It feels like we’re brand-new friends, but I’m reminded every day of our Splatoon origins. We will pretend the fallout did not happen because it didn’t! Considering our friendship began on a game as absolutely infuriating as pressure I’m shocked we’re still sane, but here we are, continuing to play further irritating games. I never thought I’d meet another southern… we’re like soul siblings from the hooting-hollerin’ gunslinging states who hype up each other’s accents until it’s an unbearable veritable whirlwind of eagle caws. AMERICA!!Even though we just re-sparked our friendship I feel like we’re already super close- and I feel secure being your friend with your lack of judgement and total understanding. The videos you send me are so sweet and even though I’m not very good at replying, just know I appreciate them every day and feel the same. If you need to talk I’m always around to listen to you and give you a second opinion, and there is nothing you can say to dissuade me from that. No TMI here!You’re so loyal and I can see that in every person you speak so highly about (especially Petra). I love that we can be honest and real without feelings being hurt- and just have genuine, human conversations. It’s crazy to see how much the both of us have changed since we first met, but I think it’s a pretty good change, because we came back together at the end of it. Protect your peace, Ho! You deserve to be treated right and I’m glad you’ve already found people who can give you that. Life is a never-ending project, but your motivation for it bleeds through every page.Lets hope splatoon doesn’t make us marginally worse people than we already are but lord knows the effects of that game are a pox upon our souls and we will inevitably be the sweats we’ve come to hate.She diddle on my squiddle till I widdle.

“If you don’t have it, then you’ll never give it, and I don’t blame you for the way you’re living.”

Suicide hotline:
988
988lifeline.orgOCD help:
1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
741741 (Crisis text line)
(617) 973-5801
[email protected]If you are struggling with OCD or any other mental illness and need a kindred spirit, DM me. I am constantly online and will do my best to assist you in any way I can, even if you just need someone to listen, or need resources. You are not alone. You are not your thoughts. You are not your past. You matter.

To The People I Left Behind─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───Well, my friend, if you’ve come this far, you must be searching for something- Some words of wisdom from me, perhaps? I can’t promise I’ll deliver, but here it is all the same.In your life, you are bound to be led astray once in a while. Maybe from someone, or something, or perhaps what you wanted to become someday. And in others’ lives, as in your own, there will be people who hurt you, and those you hurt in return. I am certainly no exception to this, and nobody ever will be. That’s the beauty of life and living- Subjectivity. And regardless of how we view our own stories, it’s just as important that we open ourselves to experiences not our own.I’ll never be able to quantify the amount of people whose lives I may have touched, be it terribly or beautifully, but I can hold them in my mind as I walk through time, learning from life’s strange and vast experiences. And to those of you I have harmed- if you are reading this, on that tiny, minuscule chance- I offer my most sincere, heartfelt apologies to you all. I may not know you any longer. You may not remember my face. I may not recall yours. But that doesn’t mean the past is gone. To whomever I am addressing beyond this screen, I know I cannot fix the pain, or cure the illness, or turn back the clock to a time before. I wish I could do that for you. I wish I could do that for us all. My reparations may be quiet, but I leave you with a promise:I will strive to become a person that could make all of you proud. I have the spirit to make it possible, and I can only wish the same to everyone in need of healing and forgiveness. There is no use in living a life of anger and cyclical hatred when there is peace to be had if only you are brave enough to go searching for it; The journey will not be easy, but when is it ever?Forgive, if you choose to, but never forget. Time is a twisting and winding road in all directions that will go on long after we return to stardust. It pays no mind to the passengers along for the bumpy ride. The road may not change to meet your destination, but you can adapt to it. Carry with you all that came before, knowing that what comes after will be better, and that you will be better in return. Love, and let love. Touch the hearts of everyone you meet in the hopes that your joy and kindness will become a part of their journey, just like those before you. See yourself in the quirk of every smile, the ringing of each spell of laughter, the tender words of loving people, and the thrumming pulse of life on earth, because you are as much a component of it as the sun, the wind, and the rain.Your struggles feel small, don’t they? Impossible to understand? Maybe that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be. Instead of toiling over your impact- your existence- always trying to justify being on this earth, take comfort in the fact that it doesn’t matter. None of it does. The sky doesn't care what your heart wants. The moon will keep on rising whether or not you stay up to greet it. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, or what you’ll do, or what others think of you. Because in these moments, alone with your thoughts and your feelings, you are utterly and completely where you are meant to be.And what is that meaning? What does it mean to live? I don’t think I can answer that for you, old friend. Your meaning is what you make it out to be. It doesn’t have to be grand or gaudy- it doesn’t have to be impactful. But don’t hesitate to reach for it, when you find that spark of purpose. Because when you’re gone, that’s it. No do-overs. No take-backs. Don’t waste what precious time you’ve been given on worrying over what clothes to wear, what words to say, what things to do. Sink your fingertips into the dirt. Howl at the heavens above. Let the wind tousle your hair. Follow whatever instinct guides you. You come of the earth, and you will return to her just the same; do not carry your worries with you, to whatever lies beyond. Leave the muddled thinking of complex minds and morals to the living. It is their nature, as is yours, to question.There are individuals among you who may believe that this segment is addressed to them. If you believe it, it is almost certainly true. And even if it isn’t- even if I’m not the one you’re seeking an apology from- take it. I hope it serves you well. I hope you find what you’re searching for.Wherever life takes you, make the most of it! Think of me when you do! Remember always your virtues, and leave no enemies. You know where to find me if you need me. And if you ever feel you’ve lost your way, you can always chase the storm clouds on the horizon- I imagine we’ll bump into each other eventually.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, folks! It’s been delightful. So long, good luck, goodbye. Until next time… May you live until you die!”